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Joke of the Day

"1995: one day the Internet will allow all people access to the full breadth of human knowledge. 2016: *watching cat videos*"

"I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in 5 minutes. It's about Russia."

"What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Consuelo Pronounced - Cunts-way-low"

"Wanna hear a bondage joke? Sorry I'm all tied up at the moment"

"My wife always bitches about me not putting the toilet seat back down So now I just piss in the sink."

"What happened to the man who sent a group of crows to the insane asylum? He went to jail because he commit a murder."

"What kinds of clothes do protons wear? Plus sizes!"

"Where do you see yourself in four years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"I'm rubber. You're glue. He's glitter. She's decoupage. Welcome to our crafting gang."

"What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire? Roasting a chicken."