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Joke of the Day

"Hey, guys! Let's get #Trending trending! Maybe for a moment we'll forget we're all going to die & our bodies will turn to garbage!"

"What happened to Windows 9 Windows 7 ""Eight"" Nine..."

"Good friends are like toasters... If you throw them down the stairs, they probably won't make toast for you anymore."

"What do I do when my luggage gets tired? I rest my case."

"How many men does it take to open a beer? None... It should be opened when she brings it to you."

"Jesus reading the list of sins OH MY GOD WHO DID THAT? OH MY GOD WHO DID THIS? ...Dying."

"Which Harry Potter character is best suited for an apple product. Sirius black"

"If a tree falls down, and only a women hears it. What the fuck was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"My wife looks like the cats in those cucumber videos when she turns around & sees me naked."

"I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have ""flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you"" issues."