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Joke of the Day

"Mike said he's breaking up w/ u cause you're not very smart & u have issues Me: OMG I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHOES WE DONT EVEN WEAR THE SAME SIZE"

"How do you know if someone owns an Apple Watch? Don't worry, they will tell you."

"I watched this documentary the other day but I didn't like it... ...because it was absolutely incredible."

"French and Wars Why did the French have so many civil wars? So they could win one."

"What's known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn't use its full name, which happens to be ""Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Chuck-Norris-Division""."

"I was burgled last night, someone stole all my documents. I was de-filed."

"Hedgehogs... Why can't they just share the hedge? One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)"

"Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird ""You can secretly watch Netflix at work"" Oh, please take literally all of my money."

"going to travel back in time and paint a giant ""@"" in a cave just to freak everyone out"

"What do you call it when a signal processing firm quickly remodels their entryway? A fast foyer transform!"