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Joke of the Day

"Blood is thicker than water, but maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. There, I said it."

Next Joke
 
"It's so cold outside... I brushed against a car in the parking lot and accidently keyed it with my nipple."
"What do you get when you leave a dog inside a car when it's 100 degrees outside? A hot dog."
"Teen: Your outfit is on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your MOM is on fleek. Teen: (smiles) Thank you! Me: God damn it."
"If a women regrets her decisions and a man never regrets his. Then what happens to the transsexual?"
"first date on the first date with girls we play jenga, show her my pull out game is strong."
"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."
"The guy will stand up to get knocked down But the girl will lie down to get knocked up"
"How do you put out a maxipad fire? You tampon it."
"Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night."
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