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Joke of the Day

"Mike Pence said that his Vice Presidential role model is Vice President Cheney. Huh. Who would've thought that after making so much LGBT discriminatory legislation that Pence loved Dick?"

"-I love you! -Me too! -You too what? -What you said -What did I say? -That -Say it -What? -I want u to say it -Well -and? -what? -Say it -it"

"What is Hitler's favourite animal? Adolphin"

"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."

"I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar.. but she's already had her face on a Bill."

"Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math? They have trouble forming solutions."

"It's hurts for me to say this... But I have a sore throat."

"Someone told me a story of a mountain climber... It ended with a cliffhanger."

"Why is Europe like a frying pan?? They both have Greece at the bottom!!"

"What did the diver say to the oyster? I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!"