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Joke of the Day
"Why does the Catholic Church have so much money? Because Jesus saves."
Next Joke
"What's a bigger problem, ignorance or apathy? I don't know and i don't care."
"My son asked me to explain women to him so I told him we'd go to lunch and talk about it, then spent the next 3 hours getting dressed."
"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean."
"The only problem with winning concert tickets from a Pepsi lid is that you will be attending a concert with a bunch of Pepsi drinkers"
"If you ever need anything, just ask. But also, please never need anything."
"""Shake what your mama gave ya."" ""You want me to shake a $25 Macy's gift card?"""
"Just watched some Midget Wrestling. It was a short fight."
"How much does a red lightsaber cost? An arm and a leg ^^edit: ^^slightly ^^improved ^^punchline"
""" I saw Lisa today... Dats hilarious!"""