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Joke of the Day

"2038. walking to work i see a toilet drone flying by. i do the special hand clap and it flies down and lets me use it then thanks me"

"What's the best joke you've ever come up with? Here's mine. >What's Pee-wee Herman's favorite dinner? >Stroganoff."

"*on the phone Him: where are you?! Me: I'm just waiting for the train Him: hurry up Me:...no problem. I'll be waiting faster"

"I like coffee like I like slaves. Free"

"I like my men like I like my coffee black, ground up and in the freezer."

"Einstein's mother asks him ""are you happy."" Einstein replies ""relatively."""

"I want ""Wake me if anything cool happens"" on my tombstone."

"*Michael Cera stubs his toe on a cotton ball*"

"Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**"

"A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""