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Joke of the Day

"Einstein's mother asks him ""are you happy."" Einstein replies ""relatively."""

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"What's a Mexican's favourite video game? Borderlands."
"One bad mushroom trip in high school and here I am 15 years later still sexually attracted to Rosie O'Donnell."
"Lost my pet unicorn. If you find it, please share your drugs."
"Chuck Norris can land a plane in Auto Pilot."
"Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering."
"Sometimes I like to repost my statuses that didn't get any ""Likes""... because they deserve a second chance too."
"Q: Why would you take a hammer to bed? A: So you could hit the sack."
"If you love someone: 1. Set them free 2. Drunk dial them 3. Read too much into their FB posts 4. Make them feel sorry for you 5. Die alone"
"Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team? Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole."