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Joke of the Day

"Did you know If Olivia Newton John married John Travolta, her name would be Olivia Newton John Travolta."

"""Is that a banana in ur pocket or are u just happy to see me haha"" [i pull a hand full of lasagna out of my pocket] ""Actually it's lasagna"""

"""Release the Kraken!"" ... ""Well?"" ""We released him. He just took off. It's not like he was trained or anything."" ... ""Release the tuna!"""

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish."

"(A math joke.) What did the acorn say when it grew up? Gee, I'm a tree."

"What do French stoners smoke? Oui-d"

"How the does man give his dead batteries away? Free of charge, of course."

"Why is everyone in an Internet cafe hungry? Server Not Found."

"Telling me to calm down is the easiest way to get me to tell you to go fuck yourself."

"When I was younger, I was given a choice: a good memory or a long dong. I can't remember which I chose."