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Joke of the Day

"My husband is the nicest guy that I could ever dream of (murdering)."

"During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels. Mussolini made the trains run on thyme."

"So bored at the airport, I just smiled at a baby to kill time."

"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."

"I went to a concert and the DJ asked us to put our hands in the air Unfortunately, I had forgotten my bag of Lays at home"

"I have no job, no car, and I live with my parents. Making a Tinder profile as a teenager is difficult."

"Why did the man open a rooftop bar? He wanted to have drinks on the house."

"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."

"How do you make the king leer? Put the queen in a bikini! (From krusty the klown)"

"I only hate the people in front of me. Everyone behind me is cool."