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Joke of the Day
"If men call short women ""petite"", what do women call short men? ""friends"""
Next Joke
"Don't be sad if you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day Most people don't have AIDS on World AIDS day either."
"You're not a REAL American until you're at least 30 lbs overweight."
"I just fell flat on my face outside and made a reverse snow angel trying to get up"
"Just once, I'd ike a cop to pull me over and tell me how great I'm driving, especially considering I've had 12 beers."
"I don't kill spiders because when spiders become our mutant overlords and eat us, they will look at me and say, ""She's cool. Let her live."""
"What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life? Selfless"
"The three most important unwritten rules. 1. 2. 3."
"How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you? Try to get a long well."
"I thought The Walking Dead was having a special tonight.... Turns out it was just The Rolling Stones performing at the 12/12/12 concert."