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Joke of the Day

"Whats a real pain in the butt? Dry anal."

"I just got cut off by a bald man in a BMW, so I pulled up next to him, rolled down my window, and laughed at him."

"What do you get when you cross the Godfather with an attorney? An offer you can't understand."

"How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana."

"Ironically, the Boogeyman was a terrible dancer."

"Peanut Butter A man walks into a psychiatrist's office masturbating with a jar of peanut butter. He asks the doctor, ""Well, whaddya think?"". The doctor replied, ""I think you're fucking nuts."""

"when i was a kid, i thought getting arrested for shoplifting meant getting in trouble for trying to carry a store like popeye or something"

"Winter is like the Justin Bieber of seasons... It was kind of cute and exciting when it first started out, now its a bit obnoxious and should probably just stay in Canada."

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

"I just met an Irishman of Chilean descent. His name was Con Kearney."