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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when...? What do you call it when you photograph childbirth? Child bornography."

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"Yo mamma is so ugly... I don't understand your Oedipus complex."
"Bolt beats De Grasse in 200m because he's Jamaican You could even say Bolt smokes De Grasse."
"""If your father asks you to pick up 5 large bags of ice, the best place to put them is in the backyard in direct sun"" ~My son apparently"
"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on ""America's Most Wanted."""
"Cum on guys, gay jokes are not funny."
"Happy Fourh of July ""Hey England, Happy Fourh of July."" ""Where's the T?"" ""We threw it in the harbor."" Merica."
"Hub: What time is our movie tonight? Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 ""Back off ladies. He's mine"""
"The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down."
"Zooey Deschanel always looks like she's been shown a card trick"
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