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Joke of the Day

"*Wakes up* ""Wow I feel pretty good"" *Moves body* ""Maybe I spoke too soon"""

"I bought some toothpaste that must have been created by God. It said on it, ""Heal Thy Gums."""

"I like my women like I like my hamburgers With enriched white buns..."

"How much did the pirate pay to have his ears pierced? a buck an ear"

"I was invited to an event that requires causal dress. Should I wear a time machine or a syllogism print?"

"Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: Because it saw the other one changing!"

"Someone told me I have no sense of humor I don't get it"

"(Calm down, this isn't a racist joke.) How do you find will smith in a snowstorm? (Not a racist joke!) You look for the fresh prints!"

"Experts are close to classifying internet addiction as a mental illness. They just need to check one more thing. And Facebook. And Twitter."

"Here comes my big moment... MOMENT."