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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you? He leaves a dark mark"

"Why do men want to marry a virgin? To avoid criticism and comparison."

"A book fell on my head I can only blame my shelf."

"Guy says, ""damn, there should be a law against having sex this good!"" The girl said nothing, for the drugs had left her unconscious."

"Why did the customer slap the cashier? Because he was checking her out."

"What happened to the embarrassed bungalow on the street of two story houses? It got stares."

"Did you know you can catch a bullet... But only once"

"House Hunters: ""We want a slide, cheeseburgers, a clown."" Realtor: Are you describing McDonalds? ""haha no"" *3 kids tumble out of trenchcoat*"

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."