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Joke of the Day

"The Hamburglar burgled HAM. If he stole burgers, he'd be called the Hamburgerburglar."

"the only dates i get Are the system software updates to my xbox. Play station. PC. Phone..."

"I saw a hot dog vendor today... She was good looking, but I don't really want a dog."

"The bad news is I don't know what I'm doing with my life. The good news is I no longer give a crap."

"Knock knock! ""Who's there?"" ""L.A."" ""L.A. who?"" ""L.A. who Akbar!"""

"What is a British woman on her period? A bloody cunt."

"What did Jesus do to lose weight? Crossfit"

"Did you know you can use voice-to-text on Twitter so this tweet came from my mouth and also stop staring at me people on this bus."

"My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight. Why does he care about how I spend my money?"

"Stay away from teenage skunks They have pee-yoo-berty! Ill see myself out :/"