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Joke of the Day

"Why do men want to marry a virgin? To avoid criticism and comparison."

"twitter is obviously Japanese, it wants us to hate whales as much as it does"

"Why did the cow get a divorce? Because she couldn't take her husbands bullshit."

"If only the workout your thumbs get from scrolling on your phone would go to your abs."

"Where does the vampire deposit his savings? In the blood bank. And why did he like to deposit his savings there? Because everyone there helped increase his savings."

"I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house."

"Did you hear about that Jew that started a charity? Neither did I."

"I want to die like my grandfather, peacefully while asleep... And not like the 60 students on the bus he was driving."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he."

"I've found that jogging is much more fun when you never do it."