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Joke of the Day

"Dentists' offices only come in two layouts: ""open-floor concept Smarthome with a medical twist!"" or ""design attained perfection in 1964"""

"A couple drops of super glue on your fingers and you wont pay attention to any other thing on the planet for three hours."

"Alien 1: What are the Humans doing? Alien 2: Celebrating the existence of their mothers. Alien 1: I ate my mother. Alien 2: As did I."

"My experience with organized crime was getting two friends to help me tip a vending machine while I reached up inside for chips."

"A nigger a spic and an arab walk into a bar. The arab blows them all up."

"To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it"

"Pro Tip: Do not let your kids push that red button in the elevator. The fire department will NOT think its adorable."

"If We Elect Donald Trump President."

"I was recently on Safari in the Serengeti and witnessed two huge male lions, taking it in turns to shag each other. I thought, ""Fcuk me, have they got no pride?"""

"You can tell all you need to know about a person by whether they bring the banana to their mouth or mouth to the banana."