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Joke of the Day
"If We Elect Donald Trump President."
Next Joke
"I went to Seoul the other day to sell fluorescent markers. It was the highlight of my Korea."
"[getting a massage] Me: I have tension in my lower back. *therapist begins* Me: Lower. Me: Lower. Th: But that's your a- Me: Lower!"
"It's my wife's birthday and I bought her slippers and a dildo. In case she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
"Benefits of dating me: 1. You're the smart one"
"My wife didn't believe me when I told her I'd built a car out of spaghetti, penne and tortellini... ......You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."
"Yo momma jokes are old, common and used by everyone. Just like yo momma."
"At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot"
"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. and thinks ""Some asshole has my pen""."
"Why do women forget if you call them beautiful 100 times but remember if you call them ugly once? Elephants have good memory"