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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador."

"4th law of thermodynamics: If you accidentally make a fart sound w/ your chair in a crowded room it's impossible to recreate that sound."

"What does a mod do in their spare time? [Deleted]"

"What rabbit wears on his back while flying? Eagle"

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"The 1st rule of Female Fight Club is: You didn't hear this from me! Seriously do NOT tell anyone I told you, I promised I wouldn't tell."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."""

"How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone? Just wait, they'll tell you."

"Cop: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: SCARLETT JOHANSSON"

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."