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Joke of the Day

"4th law of thermodynamics: If you accidentally make a fart sound w/ your chair in a crowded room it's impossible to recreate that sound."

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his butt."

"We put a man on the moon yet we still keep using the same dated scientific progress analogy."

"What's white and kills you if it enters your eye? An airplane."

"Urge is strong to leave work early on summer Fridays to avoid traffic. Most do it & become the traffic they sought to avoid."

"I could never be a politician because every time it was my turn to talk in a debate, it would start off with ""Listen you f*cking prick."""

"I'm so proud of myself. I went to Costco hungry and only spent $17,000."

"I'm going to run errands, need anything? ""Yes, some new light bulbs"" Why, our current bulbs are too heavy? ""And a good divorce lawyer"""

"Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States? Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings."

"What do women's breasts and toy trains have in common? A: They're both intended for children... But, it's usually the father that play with them the most!"