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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."""

"Why do good farmers only excel when they are actually farming? Because they are out standing in their field."

"How many /r/ users does it take to change a lightbulb? Three. One to do it, one to complain that it has already been done before, and one to repost this joke."

"Communist alternative of ""grab 'em by the pussy"" would be... ...""seize the means of reproduction."""

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Men are like power tools. They make a lot of noise but it's hard to get them to work."

"Why was the feminist picnic so bad Nobody made sandwiches"

"""Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"""

"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"

"What do you call an epic space opera set during the Russian Revolution? Tsar Wars"