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Joke of the Day

"I'm gonna make this girl mine..... Right click, Save As...."

"Last night I dreamt I was a vacuum, it really sucked."

"Hey guys, I think I just got murdered but I'm not sure, and WebMD is like ZERO help."

"Go ahead and assume it's a banana; I'm rarely that happy to see anyone."

"Have a jewish friend who likes to make drinks. I have a Jewish friend who likes to make drinks. Hebrews them. Sorry if you expected a Jewish world war 2 joke, but I'm burnt out on those."

"[1st date] So, what's your back story? ""I have scoliosis"" No, I mean your BACK STORY, like your history ""Oh! I got scoliosis as a child"""

"I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said ""I've been waiting all day for you "" Well I said. I got here as fast as I could."

"Why was the comedian with bad-ended jokes unpopular? Because everytime he told a joke people fainted in the end."

"I said to the gym instructor: ""Can you teach me to do the splits?"" He said: ""How flexible are you?"" I said: ""I can't make Tuesdays."""

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."