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Joke of the Day
"""A mind is a terrible thing to waste."" A zombie trying to convince his son to finish his dinner."
Next Joke
"College guy: [massaging head] Oh man I got so trashed last night. Raccoon: [massaging stomach with his little raccoon paws] Me too man."
"My girlfriend wanted me to tease her so I was like ""alright fatty"""
"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone A bitch sleeps with everyone, except you"
"Customer: How come the Board of Health hasn't come in and closed you up? Waiter: They're afraid to eat here."
"What do you say to a woman with a black eye? Nothing. She's already been told."
"Julius Caesar goes into a bar... ... and asks for a martinus. Puzzled, the bartender asks, ""Do you mean a martini?"" ""No. Just one, please."""
"I'm not surprised nobody has heard of the terrorist hairdressers? They're a fringe group."
"Let's cure feminism with the 7up plan. Wake up Chin up Grow up Cheer up Lighten up Loosen up But most of all SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"What do you get when a vampire eats a dachshund? Hollow-ween"