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Joke of the Day
"Slept like a log last night..... Woke up in the fire place"
Next Joke
"I thought we had the right to bear arms but when I got them I was arrested for animal abuse"
"Nintendo just announced the first haunted tower for Pokemon GO The New World Trade Center"
"Big Ben walks up to the club like... ...what up? I got a big clock."
"[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down."
"Don't have phone sex Because you'll get hearing aids"
"What did the cell say to its sister when she stepped on her toe? Mitosis"
"People are saying that sperm has terrific anti-wrinkle properties. But if that were true, with the amount of wanking I do, my bed would probably make itself."
"Got caught smelling my sisters underwear yesterday. Made the rest of her funeral very fucking awkward."
"Make a birthday wish for mutant lung power then blow away your cake, your party guests, your house, car, trees, etc."