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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] where's the best place to have sex? In an Apple orchard, you always get to cum in cider."

"Decided to take all my old watches and join them together to make a new belt... turned out to be a waist of time."

"My safe word is antidisestablishmentarianism. Don't worry. I never get laid."

"Some say I've ""gone off the rails,"" or ""left the reservation,"" or ""screwed the pooch,"" or ""mixed my metaphors,"" or ""launched the hot dog"""

"Girl, you're just like hell... because I'd kill to enter you."

"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? Khal-culator."

"First Monster: I'm so thirsty my tongue's hanging out. Second Monster: Oh. I thought that was your necktie!"

"A fat woman just served me at McDonalds... ... and said ""Sorry about the wait"". I replied and said ""Don't worry, you'll lose it eventually""."

"how many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh TEN TICKLES AHAHAHHAHAHAHA this is my favorite joke"

"Got diagnosed with Kyohosis The doctor diagnosed me with kyphosis. 85 degree curvature. I had my suspicions for a while, but the diagnosis proved to me that it wasn't just a hunch."