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Joke of the Day

"My dog once bit a little boy so I had to put him down... he was going to tell his mom."

"[job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble."

"Use promo code 'NETFLIX' to get 50% off your grades."

"Why did Nietzche's Shop go out of business? He accepted eternal returns."

"s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic"

"Have you heard the joke from the kid with short attention-span? He didn't even finish his j---"

"Do you want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.."

"The creator of auto-correct died recently May he restraunt in peice"

"Having a dirty mind is okay, but having a clean heart is much more important."

"I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: ""I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."""