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Joke of the Day
"Hardy Ha Ha"
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"This guy texting in metro besides me keeps covering his phone, like I care about his dinner plans in CP with his girlfrnd ""Shona baby"""
"What is a buddhist's favorite pizza? One with everything"
"""Anyway it was lovely to meet you!"" - Translation: Off you go!"
"Moses: Thanks for the mana in the desert. God: No problem. Moses: But since you can make anything- God: FOR THE LAST TIME, NO PIZZA."
"My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush. So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'"
"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse says, ""I'm finally realizing that my alcoholism is driving my family apart."""
"[Job interview] ""How would you describe yourself?"" ""I'd use the appropriate adjectives."" ""Anything else?"" ""Over-literal sometimes."""
"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"
"A year ago, I likened Trump to an African dictator. Today, I think I owe African dictators an apology."