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Joke of the Day
"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"
Next Joke
"What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer? Neverland Ranch."
"Me: Are you still wearing pajamas? Go change. 4yo: *Goes upstairs *Comes down wearing different pair of pajamas"
"How does Hillary Clinton clean her glasses? By deleting the mainframe."
"What do you call a lazy crocodile? A procrastigator (I'm trash)"
"A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose. According to them, this is a full-blown disease."
"My dentist is going to be so proud of me! I've been brushing my teeth like ten times a day since I started using Betty Crocker toothpaste."
"*Robocop smashes tail light* Uh oh, that's a citation *He drops a bag of weed* Damn that's 20 years *Robohippie starts to sweat*"
"[studying beached whale] its a new species bill think of a name ok um *surfer walks by* yo killer whale dude *biologists look at each other*"
"What does the fan of a shitty rock band, which canceled a gig in his city, say? ""I want my Nickel back!"""