157931

Joke of the Day

"[Job interview] ""How would you describe yourself?"" ""I'd use the appropriate adjectives."" ""Anything else?"" ""Over-literal sometimes."""

"Why did the train kill people? It had a loco-motive."

"cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: ""the tigers should be your top priority"" cop: [scribbling out ducks] ""obviously"""

"Statistics show that six out of seven dwarfs... ...aren't happy."

"Want to know why the call my penis the 'Truth'? The 'Truth' hurts"

"A small village soup chef tried to make a bit of extra money on the side, selling boullion cubes laced with marijuana... It was the laughing stock of the whole town."

"There should be a multi-event competition for finding out who the funniest people in the world are. We could call it the LOLympics."

"Just found out that McDonald's is serving all-day breakfast ... ... all day breakfast? I don't have that kind of time."

"Me: I ate all the chips. Wife: What!? For the boys' lunches!? Well, at least we still have cheeze its. Me: You're not going to believe this"

"Say what you will about dung beetles... ...at least they have their shit together."