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Joke of the Day

"A year ago, I likened Trump to an African dictator. Today, I think I owe African dictators an apology."

"The Doctor made me walk again... Because I had to sell my car in order to pay the hospital bill"

"What's worse than having ants in your pants? Uncles."

"The agony of dyslexia I stopped in to visit my dyslexic friend last night. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him: ""You idiot!"" ""You're supposed to turn your clock back!"

"TIL when nursery rhymes are playing in the car but your child is no longer in the car then the songs were probably never for him in the first place."

"I call bullshit on the Chinese language. There's no way that shit is real."

"Together, I can beat schizophrenia."

"A pack of coyotes shrieking at 3:12 AM is less unsettling if you instead imagine it's a bachelorette party that just got a limo upgrade."

"Why did the emo kid leave the bar? It was happy hour."

"If electricity always flows in the path of least resistance Why doesn't lightning always strike in France?"