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Joke of the Day

"if i opened my Gryffindor Would you Slytherin?"

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"I hate when people don't watch where I'm going when I'm walking and texting."
"Trying to convince my wife that the white powder on my nose is cocaine to hide the fact I've eaten a large sugary donut"
"Don't trust atoms They make up everything."
"What's the driest joke you ever heard of? Your mom's pussy"
"What do black people drive? house prices down"
"One time, Helen Keller fell down a well She screamed her hands off"
"A man tells his doctor, ""Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter! The doctor replies, ""Sorry, I don't follow you..."
"I don't understand all of this Chris Brown hype. After all his music isn't even that good, his only decent hit was Rihanna."
"What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years? Second gear."