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Joke of the Day
"What is Marlon Brando's favorite beer? STELLA!"
Next Joke
"it takes a while say, ""you wore that shirt the day after yesterday"", and see how long it takes for them to get it"
"I'd like to shake the hand of the guy who invented the snooze button... in like 9 minutes."
"Girls think I'm ugly, until they find out how much money I make... ...then they think I'm ugly and poor."
"What's the difference between Jews and Boy Scouts Boy Scouts come back from camp."
"A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear."
"What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead"
"When I refer to kids as ""Snot-dripping, germ-spreading spawns of Satan"" I hope you realize I'm not referring specifically to YOUR children."
"[Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I'm thirsty Dad: I'm...thirsty T: I'm hungry D: I'm...H...Hi Hungry, I'm Dad T: *throws clipboard*"
"I used to think that ""Lacrosse""... Was what the French called that thing that Jesus carried on his back."