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Joke of the Day

"maintenance guy at the airport just told me he'd rather look at girls' poop than guys' poop. No more small talk today."

"This restaurant should really be giving me a discount for ordering carryout and not bringing my kids inside."

"so i accidentally stabbed my friend's butt last night... but he forgave me, it was an asshole."

"Why didn't the circle want to become 3 dimensional? S'fear."

"Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man Most importantly, talk in irrelevant cliches."

"There are three types of people... Those who can count, and those who can't."

"A koala walks into a barber shop and hops up into the chair. He points to the excess fur that has grown around his ears and asks the barber, ""Can eucalyptus?"""

"What did the boob say to the other? ""You're my breastfriend"" *Badumm Tits*"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station , and the other's a busty crustacean!"

"Had a fight with an erection today... I beat it single handedly."