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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station , and the other's a busty crustacean!"

"My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought ""Wow, that could have been me!"" But I can't drive a bus."

"I'd be less introverted if the conversations in my head weren't better than the conversations I have with other people."

"My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her: I replied with, ""Alright, fatty."""

"My father always taught me that in adultery there are no winners but participation is more important than winning"

"making cookies? be sure to save some of the dough so you can start gorging while they're baking"

"Did you hear about the couple who stole a calendar? They both got six months."

"I hate it when I hear someone joke about the Holocaust. It's just wrong. Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it."

"I ditched my ex gf. For lying. Lying under my best friend."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says ""get the hell out. We don't serve your kind here."" The mushroom responds ""aww why not? I'm a fun guy."""