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Joke of the Day

"I forgot my U-bend was blocked when I went to the toilet... I soon remembered, when it all came flooding back."

"ME: Would you like a snack? 4: No. As a pure mathematical object, I require no physical sustenance."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb ? Not three, my basement is still dark."

"Why did the Muslim CEO dislike the cartoon of Muhammad? Because it wasn't prophet maximizing."

"#WhyDoPeopleThinkItsOkayTo replace letters in words with numbers....well now i don't feel like reading the math equation you just sent me"

"Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling? He wanted to hang with his family. "

"Mom, can I have another piece of pecan pie? ""You mean MAY, not CAN"" Ok, mom can I have another piece of pemay pie?"

"My wife and I just made a porno. Too bad she's my late wife."

"If my husband doesn't like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else."

"Drink coffee. It saves lives. One cup will decrease your chances of murdering someone in the morning."