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Joke of the Day

"Google just returned 3,250,000,000 results for my search. Cancel my afternoon appointments."

"Standing up quickly is my Six Flags."

"You dug the hole you're in... now stop whining and start climbing."

"I wish people would stop making fun of me for being fat. I have enough on my plate as it is."

"Four gay men are running around the track. Can you follow?"

"Alcohol doesn't cause hangovers....waking up does."

"What did one boob say to the other boob? Hey man, if we don't get some support soon they're gonna think we're nuts!"

"I totally understand how batteries feel... because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"You hear about the NBA player who married a midget? He was nuts over her."

"Isn't it nice that soon Justin Bieber will go through puberty, Twilight will end, & Mr.Potter's gone? Everything's going to be normal again"