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Joke of the Day

"My uncle performed circumcisions... He kept all the foreskin and had a tailor make it into a wallet. Rub it for 5 minutes and you get a briefcase."

"Greek mythology summed up in five words Unfortunately, Zeus was feeling horny"

"I'm addicted to algebra I can't **function** without it!"

"""Asparagus!!!"" - italian guy named Gus pleading for his life"

"Yeah, it IS true that migrants do the jobs you don't wanna do. Like being a suicide bomber."

"What's worse than a lobster on your piano? Crabs on your organ."

"Whats the difference between dawn and dusk? d(sun)/dt *facepalm* I'll see myself out."

"After sex, a girl once told me I had a small penis. She was cool, though. She never told any of her friends... She never told anyone. Anything. Ever. Again."

"Why are air hostesses bad at dating? Most men aren't interested in **plane** women."

"I like my women like I like my golf score Mid eighties and with slight handicap."