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Joke of the Day

"*wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice"

"*Slides a five across the bar* Bartender: Did you... Did you break this off our sign out front? Me: (Confidently) tap water please."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. The trick is getting them in there."

"So an old-timer goes out for breakfast... And the young whippersnapper of a waiter asks ""What will you have, Sir?"" ""Bacon my day, sonny!"" [Sorry/notsorry - it's how my mind works]"

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino."

"Did you hear about all the Pokemon that died in the fire? All that was left was Ash"

"Hockey: because running on knives makes sense."

"Have you heard of the 300-lb. college student from Japan? He graduated sumo cum laude"

"My girlfriend says I'm hopeless at fixing appliances Well, she's in for a shock"

"What do you call a woman made out of beef? Patty"