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Joke of the Day

"Hockey: because running on knives makes sense."

"Why can't Boy Scouts be MLG? Because they're campers."

"I'm too calm to be a Dermatologist. I refuse to make rash decisions."

"Every night Owen Wilson secretly prays tomorrow will be the day his son breaks his nose for the first time."

"How many dead Hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Not 8, since my basement is still dark."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's? Because omg they can't even."

"I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting."

"Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq? ....because there is a target in every corner."

"He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!"