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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma's house so dirty When she smokes a cigarette, she turns it around to put it in the ashtray."

"Utensils Guy 1: ""Hey, did you hear that Joe got knifed the other day?"" Guy 2: ""That's forked up!"" Guy 1: *glares at Guy 2* Guy 2: ""What? Too spoon?*"

"""What's a VCR?"" My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones."

"I love the compliments my boss gives like ""wow you're on time today"" and ""great job ignoring dress code again""."

"It must be difficult to post inspirational Tweets when your blood type is B Negative."

"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them."

"As a father of girls, I think the best interview method for potential suitors will be: ""Let me see your phone"""

"eer booze and fun!' 'Sign seen in a bar: ""Those drinking to forget please pay in advance."""

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He received the gas bill."

"Why are sandwiches better in space? They are always a bit METEOR!"