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Joke of the Day
"How do mute people tell each others secrets? They put on mittens."
Next Joke
"How did the butcher introduce his wife? 'Meet Patty!'"
"Q: What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents? A: Absolutely nothing."
"*puts up baby gates all around the outside of my house* There. That should keep 'em out."
"How do you make beef stew? Tell a cow they're being watched."
"Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
"Don't bother giving kids a hard time for saying lol while they're speaking if you came from an era when hardy-har-har was a thing."
"Kids used to call me ""four eyes"" in school. I'm not sure if it was because of my nerd glasses or because I spelled my name Loriiii."
"If I had a dollar for every time I stepped on the cat when I arrived home... I could afford to wipe my shoes on a proper door mat"
"Thought up a reddit joke today. When is a triangle a rectangle? When it fails"