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Joke of the Day

"Around my neighborhood I'm affectionately known as ""Please stop taking pictures of my flowers you weirdo."""

"Why did the console player cross the road? To render the other side."

"Why does Snoop always carry an umbrella? Fo da drizzle."

"My boss pulled up in his new car today so I complimented him on it. He responded "" if you set your goals, work hard and execute, I can buy an even better one next year"""

"The Strongman by Everhard Muscles"

"ME: I've been shot MEDIC: put pressure on the wound ME: ok, wound, are you saving for your child's tuition because education is important"

"Nobody was healthier than my vegan, gluten-free friend Chad until the day that baby squirrel beat him to death."

"You know your girlfriend is too young when... ... you still have to make the airplane noise to get your cock in her mouth."

"What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut."

"[First Date] Him: Great dress. Me: Oh, this? *flips hair* *twirls* *skirt flares* *foot catches* *face plants* Him: Me: Hey! Come back!"