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Joke of the Day

"Sharon: I'm so homesick. Sheila: But this is your home! Sharon: I know and I'm sick of it."

"[texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*"

"Ugh. It's bath time again and I always forget if you wash the baby on 'delicates' or 'permanent press'."

"If Donald trump takes over the presidency after Obama I guess you could say orange really is the new black"

"When I went to church today I farted So I sat in pew"

"Just text my husband to tell him he left his phone behind & someone is calling him. And now someone's texting him."

"What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped"

"What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy? Lots a candy."

"What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist fucks."

"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? The only thing left was de-brie"