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Joke of the Day

"Ugh. It's bath time again and I always forget if you wash the baby on 'delicates' or 'permanent press'."

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"I am absolutely mortified right now. I sent someone a DM to my small business center and TinyURL shortened it to http://tinyurl.com/acockk"
"what do you call somebody who hates shoes from Asia? A lacist."
"What kind of tape do kidnappers use? abDUCT tape"
"....Hey...uh...hey. Reddit. Yeah, you Reddit.....what do ducks eat? **QUACKERS** **LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL--STARTS CHOKING ON OWN HUMOR--**"
"In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine... Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came on just as I was filling the can"
"What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets."
"Why did Santa flick a booger on Beyonce? bc shes a cunt"
"Confucius Say: He who drop watch in toilet... Bound to have shitty time."
"Maybe every nation has ninjas And the Japanese ninjas are just the worst"
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