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Joke of the Day

"Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn't made me look insane 10,000 times."

"What's the difference between a thief and a pervert? A thief ~~steals~~ snatches your watch, a pervert watches your snatch. EDIT: I've done fucked it up."

"Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? Because he was a fungi"

"What is Hitler's favorite drink? concentrated jews"

"As a wizard I know a selection of offensive spells... My favorite is 'Curse'."

"Do you ever have the urge to eat something right in front of you? Anyways, that's how I lost my job as a gynaecologist..."

"Damn girl, you're like the first slice in a loaf of bread Everyone touches you but nobody wants you."

"""Hermit crab"" describes me twice."

"I love how racism works they blame black guys for stealing because they can't see anything in the dark"

"A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said ""Uno, dos"" *POOF* He disappeared without a tres. **edit Front page??? Thats Punbelieveable!"