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Joke of the Day

"Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn't made me look insane 10,000 times."

"My ex would always skip a letter when reciting the alphabet... She never said y"

"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row now."

"The best part about a vacation to England is that my wife won't need to adjust her driving."

"My wife is weird... She begins every conversation with ""Were you even listening to me?"""

"Why haven't we found aliens yet ? because they are searching for intelligent life too."

"You know what they say about living on Navy ships? It has its ups and downs."

"I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs I'll be in my lab."

"What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains? A zombie."