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Joke of the Day

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's seven years in a row now."

"My doctor is so young that, when I need them, he just comes in the room shouting, ""Shots! Shots! Shots!"""

"So my friend and I were playing chess. I said ""why don't we make this interesting"" so we stopped playing. Credit - I can't remember which comedian I stole this off but i am sure reddit will know"

"The original title for Star Wars was ""Skywalker: Texas Ranger"". Starring Chuck Norris."

"Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me! Police officer: That's a salt!"

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman."

"I tried explaining to my girlfriend how hard it is to pee with a boner... Now she stands in the bathroom naked just to make it harder"

"Me: My dog has gone missing Dog pound: What colour is it? Me: Brown Dog pound: Sex? Me [turns to wife]: Has the dog lost his virginity?"

"What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabi."

"Your body is a temple. Congrats on the expanding congregation!"