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Joke of the Day

"I love how people say they're ""expecting"" a baby, as though it might be something else, like a penguin."

Next Joke
 
"Are news anchors secretly insulting you? Moron this story at 11."
"A lot of things can be preserved in alcohol. My dignity is not one of them."
"What's the temperate inside of a ton-ton? What's the temperature inside of a ton-ton? Lukewarm."
"My teacher called me racist today.... So I told him "" I am not racist because as we all know racism is a crime and crime is only done by black people."""
"My kids keep bugging me about dinner even after I told them I already ate..."
"A baseball player was hit in the head with a line drive yesterday... today he's more open-minded"
"""There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU."" And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public."
"3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday..."
"""Great, those annoying white people that talk loud and take all the good seats just walked in"" -everyone else in the coffee shop in Friends."