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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a man who loves a woman for her brains? A zombie."

"Why do women live longer than men? They're not married to women."

"I knew someone had added dirt to my garden. And so, the plot thickens"

"[NSFW] My favorite sex position is the JFK... I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."

"Is it ok if i touch the paintings i have poor eyesight. also i have to have BBQ sauce on my hands because of religion"

"What do you call a Mexican working at Tim Hortons? a Filipino"

"A friend walked up to me while I was playing guitar and said ""Sick strat, bro"" I said ""Did you just assume my fender? you bigot?"""

"What is white and gold and black and blue? A blonde in a physically abusive relationship. See you guys in hell."

"I'm so sick of people looking at me funny because I choose to breast feed. If I wanna get my milk straight from the cow, then that's up to me."

"Failed long-term relationships are never a total waste. They teach you valuable life skills, like how to carve profanity into car paint."