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Joke of the Day
"I used to go out with a Jewish girl The sex was Unorthodox"
Next Joke
"What's the best kind of vegetable to bring to a party? A turn up"
"[Me narrating a documentary on guerrilla warfare] And here's more footage of people, but I'm sure apes will be in this film any minute now.."
"I got a bootleg copy of ""Alien vs Predator"" It was just some Mexican guy fighting a priest!"
"Hey girl, I heard you like bad boys Well not to brag or anything but I'm bad at everything"
"Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:"
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice! Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone."
"What's the opposite of a basic Jew? A Hasidic Jew. (Thank you.. Thank you.. I'll be here all week..)"
"Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody."
"I would never let my kids watch the orchestra Way too much sax and violins."